Archive for July, 2012

Packing My Bags

July 31, 2012

So this past weekend, my husband and I packed our bags. No, we didn’t walk out on Annalise (at least not indefinitely). She went to my parents’ house while we went out of town for a wedding. We had left Annalise overnight before, but not for THREE nights. I was a bit nervous, but I knew that she was in good hands. My mom watches Annalise once a week, and we regularly go over to their house. So there was a familiarity there. So, the wedding became an excuse for an escape a break from Annalise.

While Jason and I slept in (till 7:30), stayed out late (past 7pm), and leisurely shopped, Annalise had her own vacation at Mawmaw’s and Pawpaw’s house in the country. She could run around their acre of land, swim in their pool, roam freely in their ranch-style home, and basically have no rules.

The results? Jason and I realized we were still friends reconnected. But Annalise? When we got back into our daily routine on Monday, I realized a few things. Yes, she was more disobedient (which I expected, coming from a land with no rules), but there were two surprising positive changes.

First, my mom somehow got my child to brush her teeth. Since Annalise began teething her molars about two months ago, teeth-brushing went from a challenge, to an outright battle. Most days, I relinquish after getting one good swipe on one tooth. After a weekend with my parents? She happily sits (albeit with her feet in the sink, so water splashes them) and complies while I scrub every tooth. Even the molars in the back! I am still in shock. Her dentist will not rob me without a fight!

Second: Annalise is now a milk-drinker! For you childless readers: once your child is weaned (around one year old), cow’s milk becomes a primary source of calcium and vitamins. Annalise has always hated cow’s milk – and I’ve tried introducing it on several occasions. Picture a sour face, followed by a spewing. But last week, she saw her toddler friend drinking it. And then at my parents, she saw my nephew drink some. She kept asking for it, so my mom gave her some in her own cup. So now? Annalise loves milk, and will drink a full serving at each meal. Complete 180. Why the sudden change? Because of peer pressure, and it was her idea.

Moral of the story? Leaving town is a good idea. Leaving your child is too, but only if it’s temporary and with trusted caregivers. Did we miss Annalise? Of course. But we knew we’d get her back. We are still her parents, after all.

So take it from me, all you new parents out there – you’ll appreciate the escape break!

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Annalise’s Kidney Abnormality: Part II

July 24, 2012

So if the title leads you to think you missed something, you probably did! Read/skim Part I to catch up.

Opening Scene: the proud and sleep-deprived Mama brings her 6-week old daughter to the Radiology department at the UVa hospital for precautionary tests.

I haven’t actually met the urologist yet, but I am sitting here waiting for Annalise to have two tests. First, she’ll have a VCUG, which, as explained by the nurse (over the phone), will test for any reflux from the bladder. Apparently this is a common problem associated with kidney abnormalities. So I’ve heard a lot about the VCUG on mommy boards on the internet. I’ll later find out the results are extremely important when it comes to urinary tract infections, which can turn into bladder infections, which then can become kidney infections (each with increasing risks). Reflux is measured on a scale of severity, but any reflux is a problem with which to be dealt. This makes me nervous.

After the VCUG, we’ll have an ultrasound; this time it will not be a prenatal one. The technician will probe Annalise’s tummy and compare her kidneys. They are looking for any more dilation, and a better understanding of her anatomy, which seems to be abnormal.

After these tests, a normal patient would go upstairs (and through the woods, and around the pond) to the middle of nowhere the Urology clinic and go over the results. But since we’re local (and more flexible), we get to come back another day and meet with the urologist. Joy. I just love the whole hospital experience – let’s drag this out do this again!

Still with me? Because right now, I’m still sitting in the waiting room, with the buzzer that the receptionist gave me after checking in. Am I waiting for a table at Outback, or to place my baby on a cold table? It’s easy to forget where you are with the windowless room and the fluorescent lights... Anywho, Annalise is by far the youngest here. But probably noone in the room suspects that she is the one who is the patient. We hadn’t  people-watched waited long, before we are called back.

I wheel the stroller back to a room with equipment that towers over the room. I try to swallow my fears, and follow the nurse/technician’s instructions: take off Annalise’s clothes; put this HUGE gown on her little body; remove her diaper. She’s not too upset – until they take her and try to insert a catheter. It’s the smallest catheter I’d ever seen – and I think it was still too big for her little private parts. She’s in pain, and because she resists, it takes them even longer (and probably makes the pain worse). I am in agony; there is nothing I can do. I try to give her a pacifier (she’d barely even seen one before this day) that was drenched in sugar water (also something new to her). She surprisingly takes to it, but she still sobs between her desperate sucks. I hate standing here, doing nothing, as they strap her down to the table. And I now become associated with her experience of pain, instead of the comforting Mama. The nurses reassure me that the worst is over. Annalise had worn herself out, and she drifts into sleep. They insert some dye into her bladder through the catheter, and they watch it as the machine scans and moves around her. It was pretty incredible to see technology at work. Apparently reflux usually is seen when she pees, so when she did her business, we were done. I would later discuss the results with the urologist, but they say that they didn’t see any signs of reflux.

What a relief. Now unstrap my baby and get me out of here! VCUG – check.

Then I am led to the ultrasound room. It’s nice and dark in there. Calming. Compared to the VCUG, this seems like a walk in the park. Annalise is grumpy from being woken up too soon (who wouldn’t be after getting something shoved up your pee-hole?), but the technician gets the images of the kidneys and bladder. The back door opens (There’s a back door?) and a radiologist introduces himself. Apparently, this is a rare occurrence, but he actually came in to take a second look and get more images. He takes the wand, and after scanning around, confirms the earlier prognosis of a duplicated renal system. He tries to look as deep as possible, but he can’t find where the extra ureter goes. Apparently, a duplicate ureter usually does not drain properly into the bladder (which is what causes the kidney to become dilated) and many times is ectopic. The upper portion of the right kidney still shows dilation, and I’d further talk about the next step with the urologist.

Bummer. More dilation. Probably more tests.

My husband joins us as we come back a few weeks later to the Urology Clinic. After they taped a too-large bag to my daughter collected a urine sample, we meet our urologist. He surprises me – warm, friendly, empathetic, a good listener. Are you sure you are a specialist? He then basically confirms everything that we’d heard from the technicians and doctors before. But he does give us direction – more tests. We’d come back in a few weeks for a kidney scan (which tests the function of the kidneys) and another ultrasound. Then he mentions the dreaded word: surgery. I can’t believe he just threw it out there – the word just hangs in the air. Put on the brakes…we just met you! He probably sees the look in my eyes, because he immediately jumps to reassure us. If Annalise had surgery, it would be a ways down the road, and it’s a non-invasive, laparoscopic surgery, with very short recovery time. Oh, and then he mentions that Annalise should be on a daily antibiotic. Why? The VCUG showed no signs of reflux? Just preventative, precautionary…ha! that’s what we have heard all along! So we pick up the prescription on the way home, and Annalise begins her love affair with medicine that very night.

Next stop: more tests at UVA.

Aftermath of the Aurora Shooting

July 20, 2012

If you haven’t heard, read a summary of the shooting that happened a showing of the new Batman movie here.

People’s reactions:

“I can’t believe someone would do this.”

“It makes me sick.”

“What would make someone want to hurt so many people?”

“How could he do such a random act of destruction?”

These reactions are honest. Understandable. Such a tragedy on such a large scale is shocking. And the randomness of his violence makes no sense.

But, this has happened before. And unfortunately, it will happen again. I know that I live in a broken world. People are lonely. People are hurting. People feel betrayed, angry, resentful. Seeds of depression, anxiety, and bitterness grow inside our hearts. All of us, including me, have crap festering inside of us. If these seeds are NOT uprooted, they can be enslaving, and even deadly. Just read the rest of the headlines on CNN, and you’ll see that the world isn’t as it should be.

Obviously, something has to be wrong with a person, who would take away so many lives in such a calculated plan. He wasn’t right. He needed help. He needed a Savior. Where was this young man’s parents? Who were his friends? Did anyone know how sick he was? Why didn’t anyone help him?

I believe that God created humans with a lot of power to change and influence the world around us. But without His help and His ultimate goodness, we cannot heal the hurt completely. We cannot fix the brokenness of the world without the touch of its Creator. Only He is pure and good and holy.

I believe in a God who mourns with us. He cries with the families. He is disgusted at violence. And yet, he weeps for this young man, who was so lost that he found his way into a movie theater with an intent to kill.

I pray that I will not let any evil seed continue to grow inside my own heart. I pray that my eyes will see the broken people around me who need love, support, and a Savior. God help us all.

“Room Time” Woes

July 17, 2012

Annalise loves to play…with others. She’s very independent in everything she does…except playing. She thrives in front of an audience. She relishes attention. This is a challenge for Mommy when there are not yet siblings.

But even before I knew about this personality trait with Annalise, I have tried to establish “independent play.” There are many reasons why I treasure impliment this time (in no particular order): Annalise learns that she can entertain herself (for a time); it gives Mommy a break; and hopefully it will instill confidence in Annalise as she’s not so dependent on others.

When Annalise was an easy-to-manage infant, I’d just lay her down on her activity mat and leave her alone for 15 minutes or so. She couldn’t really move from that spot, and I could go clean dishes or check email – always within earshot. Now that she’s bigger, it obviously looks much different. For about 25-45 minutes each morning, Annalise will play in her (mostly…) baby-proofed room. She has some toys in there, and I give her some board books. But most of the time, she’d rather empty out her drawers and try to climb on things. But today, I found out her new trick…

I was next door in my bedroom reading my Bible, in peace. But then, I heard her banging on the top of the trash can, and then, the thump of the chair rocking at full force. “Great,” I thought. “She’s somehow climbed up into the rocker and she’ll cry because she’ll want help getting down.” Instead, I heard her baby monitor get really loud – loud, like someone was holding the base in one’s not-so-delicate hands. After a few more minutes of “play time,” Annalise cried out. I picked up my phone/camera, and BEHOLD! There she was somehow stuck in the corner of the room – behind the rocker and trash can, with the monitor base in hand.

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I don’t know how she wedged herself through that little area, but I imagine she had fun figuring out that she could get back there. There isn’t much room and not really much entertainment, but I bet that she played contentedly for probably 10 minutes. Who knows how long it took her to wriggle into that small space.

So now I have to figure out where to hide her monitor, so that she doesn’t go playing with it every day. If she unplugged it, I know she’d poke at the exposed socket – just because she’s not supposed to. *Sigh*

What does your child do for entertainment? Please tell me that I’m not the only one whose child ignores the toys and instead finds anything else to play with?

Annalise’s Kidney Abnormality: Part I

July 13, 2012

So far, I’ve kept this subject out of the “public” eye. It was too personal. Too difficult. I didn’t want all the obligatory condolences and prayers (even if many were genuine). We needed support, but we went to our closest friends and family. Thank you to each of you, who were there through this journey. We needed you.

But now I’m ready to put this out in cyberspace – because I want other moms or moms-to-be to read this, and find comfort in our experience. I believe knowledge is power, and the most comforting thing in a trying circumstance is knowing what lies ahead. This will be a multi-part series, because there are so many stages. But back to the beginning…

It was December of 2010. I was 22 weeks pregnant with our first baby. We finally were going to see our baby on the ultrasound – and find out the gender! We were excited beyond words. Yes, the thought floated through my head that if there was anything wrong, we’d also probably find out. We opted out of many early-on prenatal screenings (i.e. to find down’s syndrome), so this was our first glimpse of the health of baby. But really, I wasn’t thinking there would be anything wrong. I just wanted to find out WHAT THE HECK WE WERE HAVING SO I COULD DECORATE/PLAN/BUY CLOTHES! I’m just being honest.

Jason and I headed to the prenatal diagnostics center here in Charlottesville. My OB doesn’t do ultrasounds in house, so we go to the best place in the area (which is great to have local!). As we sat in the waiting room, I saw a good friend behind the receptionist’s counter. At the time, he was doing a part-time residency as a genetic counselor at the office. So when we were escorted back to the u/s room, he came along and we caught up while we were waiting for the nurse. She came in, and was taking lots of shots: brain, head, heart, genitals (it’s a girl! AHHH!), umbilical cord, placenta, kidneys….wait, redo: right kidney. left kidney. another position. right kidney. left kidney. “Hmmm…nothing to be worried about, but I’m going to get the doctor to take a second look here.” So…we didn’t worry. We continued to chat with our friend as the doctor came in, soaking up that we were having a DAUGHTER. Even the doc joined in with our conversation, like we were all best friends. I only realized something was more serious when the doc said, “Interesting……..you know, you never want to hear your doctor to say ‘interesting.'”

Then I stopped chatting. I completely changed – warning bells started to go off. My heart started pounding. Everyone else disappeared. WHAT WAS WRONG? I have no recollection of when our friend stepped out of the room – obviously he did at some point. There was no more chatting. Jason and I were glued to the 10 inch u/s monitor as the doctor glided the wand around on my belly. As I careened my head toward the screen and asked a bazillion questions, the doctor must have realized that this was the first we’d heard of the problem. He’d thought we’d been referred to his office because our regular OB had seen it first (which apparently happens a lot in their office). We calmly tried to explain that NO!-we-had-no-idea-so-stop-chichatting-and-tell-me-what-is-going-on. He apologized for being so flippant about his earlier comments, and then saved himself said to me, “For this being the first time you’ve seen this problem, you’re handling this very well.” Those words were like goldfish crackers to a toddler – I instantly became much more relaxed, releasing the grip on the u/s table, and allowing grace for this doctor, who was just doing his job.

After lots of pictures and fishing around, the doctor had gathered that Annalise’s right kidney was partially dilated (or enlarged) on the upper lobe. And there was probably a renal duplication on the right kidney, meaning two ureters came out and headed toward the bladder, instead of one. He assumed there was some obstruction in the ureter somewhere, which was preventing the proper emptying of the kidney. “Not to worry,” the doc said, “If I had to choose to have some abnormality or problem in my baby, this would be it. 99% of the time the kidney will work itself out, even before birth.” He said that worst case scenario would mean corrective surgery (SURGERY????). He handed me a slip of paper with the words “UPJ obstruction” and “renal duplication,” since those were new vocabulary words at the time. We’d be back for another prenatal ultrasound to check on the kidney’s development, and he expected it to look normal.

We came back for several follow-up ultrasounds before Annalise was born. Each time, they expected her kidney to have corrected itself (which apparently happens often). Each time, we walked away with another appointment scheduled. I think our last appointment was around 36 weeks gestation, and I was given the contact information for the UVA pediatric urologist (also local to us). Annalise would be passed into his hands, via her pediatrician’s recommendation. It became much more real and scary to go from “baby in womb with problem” to “baby with a pediatrician and urologist.” It seemed more tangible. More expensive. More costly. More life or death.

In March, Annalise was born with no complications, thank God. Our pediatrician was soon filled in with all the history of Annalise’s prenatal ultrasounds. He was familiar with the whole kidney problem thing, having been a pediatrician for 25+ years. Like the u/s doctors, he wasn’t the least bit worried or concerned, which always reassured us. Our pediatrician had worked with this particular pediatric urologist before, and again thought that her kidney would still work itself out on its own.

But just for precautionary sake, we scheduled an appointment with UVA’s pediatric urology department. There, we’d meet the man, who would become so influential in our daughter’s life.

Annalise, Center Stage at the Library

July 9, 2012

Well, I finally got Annalise to the story/play time at the local library. I’d never been before, and wasn’t sure what to expect since the target age group was listed as “walkers.” I assumed it would be chaotic, because I do know my energetic, little Annalise…

A bunch of moms showed up with their kids early, all playing downstairs with the toys and books. We’ve been there before, so Annalise was tearing into everything making herself at home. I know she has a deep love for other kids (and Mama freeing her from the house), so I wasn’t surprised to see her plant a few kisses on unsuspecting kids. Thankfully, other moms didn’t slap her smiled.

We head upstairs and the room is huge. Picture a carpeted conference room with a little stage at one side. The library worker sits down on the floor, and instructs us to sit in a semi-circle facing her. Annalise is excited to explore, so I let her check out the exposed electrical outlets the unattended diaper bags the room. As all the other kids are sitting nicely on their mom’s laps, I find my seat, while my daughter wanders around the room. “This should be good,” I think, “Other kids her age…she’ll love to join in!”

We sing songs; we sing nursery rhymes we’ve all forgotten. “We”…meaning everyone but Annalise. Every other kid is sitting calmly, somewhat dazed, in their mom’s lap. My child is running around the room, yelling as she explores and finds familiar things – steps, bags, boxes! As I sing the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know it,” Annalise tears by and I attempt to pull her in – only causing a wriggling and whining tantrum. I release her, reminding myself that this time is for her. She immediately runs to the middle of the circle during the song, surveys the crowd, and zeros in on a particular child. Annalise then runs at him, full-speed, yelling “HI! HI! HI!” The mom smiles, but I am poised, ready to intervene in a split second. Thankfully, she runs right past them and onto the next adventure.

[Later addition:] I just remembered another hilarious (for me) moment. Another fly-by Annalise moment during the songs, she walks over from doing who knows what and backs into another mom’s lap. And yes, her child was already sitting there. I don’t think the little girl knew what to make of it. But no worries – 10 seconds later, Annalise was up and running again. 

Then story time. I was sure Annalise would want to hear the story. But, again, she refuses to sit in my lap, even after I lure her by saying, “Annalise…book!” Instead, she turns toward the library worker. She waltzes in the middle of the circle, right up to the book. Again – all the other children are sitting contentedly in their mom’s laps. My child? She considers this her own personal reading, and even points to the pages. Thankfully, Annalise doesn’t hang around, and quickly moves on to something else. The other parents sign in relief – now their child has an unobscured view of the story! Phew!

After a few more books (not that Annalise would know), the library worker busted out a few boxes of toys. I didn’t want to think about all the germ-infested fingers that had touched them before…so I didn’t. In reality, the toys were right on time: Annalise was getting bored with everyone else ignoring her sitting down while she ran free in the room. She dug right into the toys, dumping an entire box on the floor. We stuck around to the end – and she had a blast. Not that I was ever involved in her play time – she had a room full of other “friends” to play with her.

Will we go back? Of course! But I don’t have any expectations of her sitting and enjoying any of the songs or books. I just hope that the other moms are as forgiving if Annalise kisses, mauls, or runs at their child. She is quite…spirited.

So how would you react if your toddler ran amuck and refused to sit in story time? At what age should a child be instructed in appropriate behavior?

Fave Baby Crap

July 7, 2012

I call it “crap” because it does seem like a lot of crap for such a small little person. You’ve never been a parent before, and the “must-have” lists out there are insanely long – and you have NONE of it! But you are so ignorant and nervous excited that you will usually buy ANYTHING that is suggested, just because you want to be “prepared.” Don’t want to be wishing you had that baby wipe warmer at 2am when Junior is screaming because you just exposed his parts to the breeze…right? RIGHT? Here are my 2 cents on my favorite purchases…and ones that aren’t worth it, in my opinion. Many thanks to “Baby Bargains” book for it’s recommendations. Go out and BUY THIS BOOK BEFORE YOU REGISTER!

0-3 MONTHS (i.e. what you’d register for):

  • activity gym. This was basically the only toy I had for Annalise the first 3 months. SHOCKER! But they’re awake for such little bursts of time, they don’t need much!
  • car seat carrier. We made the mistake of getting a 35lb limit, but I wish we’d have gotten a 20 or 25lb max, so it would be more compact in a car. You’ll probably move Junior to a standard carseat long before he’s 25lbs.
  • stroller frame for carseat. Don’t buy the travel system, or an expensive stroller. This works great for the first many months, and will give you time to decide what kind of stroller you want – it’s quite an investment!
  • big square swaddle blankets. Swaddling is essential, but challenging! YouTube “happiest baby on the block swaddle” and figure out how to master it.
  • trash can. Skip the Diaper Genie, get a good kitchen trashcan that keeps in smells. It won’t cost as much, and refills are just regular trash bags. And you can reuse it in another room later!
  • bath tub with infant sling. It’s hard to bathe a small little baby. We got a “compatible” one, so it was a bit smaller.
  • Huggies wipes. They are thick, strong, and have the best wipes containers. I find I use less wipes when I use Huggies brand.
  • noise machine. Annalise has bionic ears. We bought a 99 cent song on iTunes, and use an extra iPod. Words great!
  • fast thermometer. The faster the better. It makes a difference when Junior is squirming and wriggling and crying in pain!
  • infant Tylenol. Look for the kind in dropper, not in a syringe AND non-staining.
  • Hanes socks. The only socks that will stay on Junior’s feet. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, buy the cute socks that have shoes on them. You’ll see. Have these in the drawer, for all ages!
  • compact travel changing station. I use the Skip Hop Pronto. Eventually you’ll realize that lugging around the diaper bag is unnecessary. You’ll want this in the car, or to shove in your purse.

CRAP I DIDN’T USE:

  • boppy pillow. It was never comfortable for me, just awkward. Pillows were more comfy and convenient.
  • swing. Didn’t see the need, and Annalise survived without it.
  • bassinet or cosleeper. Annalise slept in her crib as soon as we got home from the hospital. Best decision ever! I slept better without hearing all her sounds, and we never had to make a big transition.
  • pacifiers. Tried it, but it was more of a headache to keep putting the stupid pacifier back IN. Annalise eventually wriggled out of the swaddle enough and got a thumb in her mouth. I never have to go in and help Annalise find her thumb.
  • fancy bottles or nipples. I just bought the bottles that went with my breast pump. Annalise never had a problem, so I never bought them.

CRAP FOR LATER:

  • Fisher Price booster seat. Great for travel, and can sit in any chair with a back.
  • Good bibs. Don’t get off-brand here. Find good velcro, and a light-weight fabric that dries fast.
  • Bobux or Robeez shoes. Best shoes for learning to walk. Don’t get clunky shoes for new walkers…do I need to explain this?
  • Exersaucer. Best toy after Junior can sit up on his own. So then you’re up to Activity Mat + Exersaucer! Ha!
  • Leap frog music table. Great table once Junior can pull up, but isn’t super annoying with sounds.
  • Radio flyer walker wagon. Great toy that helps Junior get steady taking steps, and doubles as a wagon to lug more crap around later. (By this time, Junior will have lots more crap, called “toys.”)

Me, as a Mom, According to Me

July 3, 2012

Growing up, I never dreamt of being a mommy. I never really played with dolls (except Barbie, and she was always a rebellious teenager in my world) or played house. I never really saw myself as being a mom with kids. When my other friends would “ooh” and “ahhh” over babies, I never understood it. I didn’t even like to watch kids for money babysit, so I rarely did. Even in college when I was dating Jason, my future husband, I told him that I wasn’t sure about parenthood. He really wanted kids, but I couldn’t promise I would be on board. As you can imagine, there were many heated discussions during our dating life (some of which were regarding this issue). As we headed to the altar, I was open to future conversations about having kids; and Jason supposedly submitted his desires of having a family, but hoped I would change my mind.

Then fast forward three years later. I had gotten the itch for a baby. We’d gotten a dog, which held me off for a few years until I was ready to make a commitment. Because of our work/finance situation, I would need to stay home with our kids (Basically, I’d make negative money if I worked to pay for childcare). So it was a HUGE sacrifice for me to give up my work life to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM – stupid mommy acronyms).

Being pregnant was fun – I love starting something new. I could dream all day about our baby, read and research about parenting, and decorate the nursery. I loveee new beginnings…I love learning and experiencing new things! I wasn’t really thinking about caring for this new baby, but just all the organizational and logistical things that went along with it. But I couldn’t wait to meet her!

Then baby came – Annalise. She was beautiful. I loved her. But it was really hard being a mom. My whole world got turned around, reorganized, and calibrated with a new central focus. Even from just a few days old, I could tell Annalise was alert and curious about the world. She was fun to interact with, but it meant that she was not a good sleeper. (In the first year or so, baby’s sleep dictates how you are doing as a mom. Everything else could be going right, but if baby isn’t sleeping or napping well, mama ain’t so happy!)

But life goes on. Old problems are solved, new problems arise. I love being Annalise’s mommy. I love being her teacher, her guide, her rock. She is great, and lots of fun. But I don’t dote on her like my friends would/do. It’s just not me. It’s not my personality. It was never part of my mental processes. Don’t get me wrong – I love Annalise with all my heart and I would give anything for her. But my heart doesn’t pitter patter when she smiles at me. Compassion doesn’t come as easily when she’s throwing a fit. I am a thinker, not a feeler.

But I love being a mom, and Annalise has brought me more joy than I thought she’d be able to do at this age. Who knew that such a little person could have so much personality already? She got an extra dose of it, that’s for sure (for better and for worse). But this season of with little ones at home is hard for me. I don’t like being depended on for everything. I hate being “needed.” I miss my freedom. I miss the opportunities to be spontaneous. But it is all worth it – in the long run, and in the immediate. And even if it didn’t seem worth it, I’d have to make the best of it. I’m kind of stuck with her!

So if you are like me, and you can’t see yourself as a mom, know that you can be a mom – and a good mom. I am a mom, but like Kelly should be. And thankfully I prayed and asked God to change my heart when Jason and I first got married. And I felt like I was ready to take the plunge into motherhood, albeit ignorantly. Having a child has brought out the best, and the worst, in me. As Gary Chapman’s thesis states, parenthood is designed to make me holier, not happier (love “Sacred Parenting”!) And I will continue to share….stay tuned!

[Noticeable, but modest entrance]

July 2, 2012

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